Friday, April 21, 2006, 3:10 PM
Are Dreams Just Fantasies?
The more I think about the Sony Ericsson W800i, the weaker the will to resist buying it... It isn't like me to buy something that everyone already has (everyone as in Nana, Jaron, JK and Elton. =P). But this phone has 'EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED' (TM) in a phone! Bluetooth, infrared, USB port, memory card slot, MP3 player, 2 MP Camera, video streaming, JAVA etc, Etc, ETC! Need I say more? *Contemplates*
*Sigh* The next paragraph had to start off with a sigh... If not, there'd be no next paragraph. Sound like Nanny McPhee or not? =P But truly, I'm quite tired of being in the army already. After training for a little over a year and finally coming out of trainee life I thought things would get better. Oh how unpredictable life can be. Being an officer doesn't make your life easier, it just means you are "supposed" to be more capable, able to take more responsibility.
I mean it's okay to give me more work, but don't demand it from me as though I owe you money or something. No recognition for my work is perfectly fine as well. But don't pick on me, or scold me just because you're not my boss and I don't have a boss to take care of me! You can be nice to the guys from your branch and be nasty to me at the same time, what does that make you? You might as well demote me to a Private or something...
Seriously, I'm just tired of it all. The world isn't fair and people make it that way. When can I go free and do the things I really want to do? "Don't do what the world needs, do what makes you come alive. 'Cos what the world needs is people who have come alive." That's from the book I've been trying to complete since my birthday last year when Jolene gave it to me. I just finished it this week. I don't want to exist, I want to live and enjoy living. The past just seems to hold me back. The disappointments, the hurts, the fears, the pain... I just can't convince myself to put it all behind me. Again and again the past comes back to haunt me...
Dreams remain fantasies,
As this boat is left to drift on life's stormy seas.
Unable to accomplish the heart's desires,
A man exists but never truly lives.
Living a life that cannot be eased,
Seeking to please those that cannot be pleased.
Chasing satisfaction that cannot be seized,
Planning a future that cannot be conceived.
All the signs point in the same direction,
The roads lead to the same location.
Close ones tell you of the same destination,
And there's only one conclusion.
There is only One worth living for...
here i am
Praise the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.
(Psa 150:1-6)
this is me
Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Gal 2:20 MSG)
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