Monday, March 26, 2007, 1:38 PM
An Accident, Or Was It?
The past 3 weeks have been crazy. It almost appeared that there wasn't a distinction between night or day. I've been doing projects, assignments, presentation slides from the moment I end school to the moment I unknowingly fall asleep on my bed, exhausted. But somehow, God has been giving me the strength to continue without burning out. I have never been able to do such a thing; even in the army. Thank God! :)
On Friday morning, while on my way to school. I was rushing, as usual, to a project meeting. I was already late. So naturally I drove a little faster and stuck to the extreme right lane on the roads in an attempt to avoid the slower drivers on the other lanes. While traveling on Farrer Road, lo and behold, some joker decides to change into the lane I was on without checking his blind spot. Had his eyes not been pasted on with stamps (hokkien translation needed), he would have noticed I was in the space he was about to occupy... -_-
I sounded my horn thinking that he'd finally notice my presence and halt his stupendous ambition of driving into my car. Guess what? He continued to change lanes! -_- I gave an extremely long horn blast to no avail. I did not expect him NOT to stop changing lanes so I applied the old school "jam break" too late. *Crash* His SUV grazes the front left side of my car and while trying futilely to not drive directly into his car, I drove my car into the curb on my right, puncturing my front right tire... "Left and right also kena... Sian..." I thought to myself.
End of ordeal one would think... Wrong... That incredulous driver slows down for a bit, looking back I suspect and then continues to drive off into the sunset (or sunrise for that matter). *Anger* I was more enraged at the fact that he didn't stop than he driving into my car! >.< Pitiful me had to drive, wounded, across 2 lanes of morning rush hour traffic to get to the nearby housing estate where I changed my punctured tire in sorrow.
Anyway, to my point. Was it just an accident or was it something more? Uncle Jem used to say that whenever he got into a vehicular accident, God was stopping him in his tracks. I felt the same for me. I was getting tired and frustrated at how things was going at church. "Why are my leaders not taking ownership?" "Why does it seem that most of the labour falls to a committed few?" "Why are the church leaders more keen to point out our mistakes than encourage us in our ministry?" More and more rants were filling my mind and my soul was weary. It didn't help that I wasn't spending much time with God in my busyness.
The accident literally stopped me in my tracks. Somehow, every stress, every dispute and every unhappiness seemed to disappear at that moment. Only what was bare essential remained. Thank God that I am alive. The accident could have been worse. Were my rantings as important as what God has in stored? Were my needs really just wants? I remember the dreams that I had for this ministry. But have I stopped believing in them and in the One Who would bring them to pass.
This wake up call was also a precursor to Sunday's servers' cell. I was really blessed and ministered to when Uncle Paul prayed over me. God has always been watching over me. Always! And the dreams that I dreamt were still with Him, kept safely in His hands. Jesus once said, "Do not be afraid, only believe..." I will choose to believe again.
here i am
Praise the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.
(Psa 150:1-6)
this is me
Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Gal 2:20 MSG)
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